


Mmm

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-31
Updated: 1998-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 12:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11335509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: A conversation between Mulder and Krycek.





	Mmm

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Mmm by Marc DeNial

Just a fun one. Fox Mulder and Alex Krycek belong to Chris Carter, his production company, and/or FOX, or some combination of the three, I imagine. Calling them "moose and rat" ain't mine neither, darn it. Oh, well. Anyone who wants to is free to print copy or archive this, preferably intact. If anybody makes any money off of this (fat chance) give my part to charity.

* * *

Mmm  
by Marc DeNial

...

"Fox."

"Fox!"

"Don't call me that, Alex."

"Wolf."

"Don't be obvious."

"Limpet."

"No."

"Thompson's Gazelle."

"Stop it."

"Moose."

"Mmm. Moose I can live with."

"Look, Boris, Moose and Skvirrel are gettink avay."

"Does that mean you're the 'skvirrel', Alex? Stop hogging the sheets."

"Mmm. _My sheets_"

"I always thought Scully would be the skvirrel. You, I don't know. Your tail is too skinny for squirrel. And these sheets are half mine, Alex."

"We all know what you think of my tail, Mulder. Plump my pillow."

"Mmm, I still think you're a rat. The plump pillowed rat."

"Mulder, I thought we were past the 'ratboy' phase. I mean, you haven't punched me in a long time-Ouch!"

"You asked for it."

"Gimme the blanket back, Moose, this rat is cold."

"This rat is hot, Alex, explosive."

"Two thousand kilos of boom-boom."

"Boom"

"I'll give you boom. How's _this_ for boom?"

"Mmm. Mmm-hmm"

"Boom, Moosie baby."

"Mmm. I didn't know a tongue could..."

...

"...you've never done _that_ with your tongue before. Are you sure you've just got one?"

"The rare Tunguskan rat has a limber tongue, prehensile almost."

"Actually, there's a species of lemur in the forests of Madaga--ah -ah-mmm"

"And for you, ve hav alzo the nipples, zey are like zee pancil erasers, zees nipples."

"Wait. Wait! Let me..."

"Always with the wait! The world, and Alex Krycek, wait for no--mmm-hmm-hmm!"

"How does that hit you, Mr. Boom-boom?"

"Mmm. Yeah, Mmm. A little to the left. That's it. That's IT."

"Mmm. Your hair is tickling me-so-"

"Not so stupid-ass now, is it?"

"I never..."

"But you said..."

"It was just such a _surprise_, I almost didn't..."

"Cut the chat, Mulder, and get to work..."

"I mean, is this why you cut it? One of the reasons? I mean, it looks really good on you now and-ah-mmm."

"More licking, less talking."

"Really, it..."

"Licking, Mulder, nothing but licking. Licking, with a little swirling and a lot of rubbing and fondling."

"Shh. Alexander the Great..."

"Thanks, Moose, I'm good, but I wouldn't say gr-ah-ooops."

"No problem, I caught it...but Alexander...used to make all his soldiers cut their hair and beards so there'd be less to...mmm...hold on to...mmm! So, after he'd conquered the world the trend really..mmm-ho-ho-ho-mmm."

"Shut UP, Mulder. Just enjoy it while it...mmm-hmm-Hmm!"

"And you know, Alexander played for our team."

"The Dodgers?"

"No, no, turn-yes. _This team_."

"Oooh! The Happy Bottoms Riding Club!"

"Mmm!"

"Mmm-hmm. Hmm. mm-mm-m-mm-mmm."

"What's that you're mmm- humming, Alex..."

"Volga-hmmf-Volga Boatmen."

"Where'd you _mmph!_ pick that up? How about Am-er-i-ca the Beauti...ful?"

"Fo-------mmmmphmmmmmmmoooose! Go a little easy there, sport. I'm an injured man."

"Look good to me."

"It's my new workout regime...I flee one armed, red hot knife wielding peasants through the Siberian forests while..."

"Mmm. That arm, though."

"Wha...wha...what...wh...wheeeee!!!"

"Mmmph!"

"That was really good. Mmm. Let me catch my breath and then we'll see if you get a turn. Jeez, I'm gonna walk sideways for a week, man."

"Mmm. The arm."

"I'm not walking on the arm, Moose."

"Bet that was a heck of a wake up call, though."

"'Tis but a flesh wound. The one armed man deals cards slowly."

"Mmm?"

"It is growing back nicely though, don't you think?"

"The arm or the hair? Oof."

"Don't get back on the hair, Foxy, or you'll get another pillow."

"I get all the pillows."

"Indeed you do, honey bunches."

"Moose, Alex."

"Moose. Besides, they never got it all the way off. Just kinda..."

"Mostly dead. Mostly dead we can do something about."

"Yeah, I'll bet. You've been mostly dead a couple of times yourself, once or twice."

"takes' a lickin', keeps on tickin'"

"Not when I'm doin' the lickin' you don't. Hum-yes, tick-no."

"Speaking of which..."

"Mmm."

"Mmm yourself. I hate you, Alex."

"I hate you too. Very hard. Now scootch, or my good arm is going to fall asleep."

"Mmm. Sleep tight, my rat."

"You too, Moose."

"Mmm."

Mmm.


End file.
